This is a story so sad; it dwarfs all other stories to date. Let's begin:
Once upon a time (I know it captures you from the beginning) there was a
The Fair Erin shared her kingdom with the Cat Hater Sorceress Gail, who was known far and wide for her extreme dislike of the cute, furry, loveable feline creatures (insert boos and hisses). One day out of the goodness of her loving heart, the Fair Erin took in a poor abandoned cat (violins play here). The Fair Erin would feed Sir/Madame Cat (I never checked) and sometimes let him/her in the house when the Cat Hater Sorceress Gail was out of the kingdom (said cat may or may not have been on the couch eating expensive kitty appetizers). The fair Erin was happy and there was peace in the kingdom. Sir/Madame Cat was loved by the Queen and Prince Gabriel and Princess Drioux (read: tolerated by kids who ignored him/her), until one rainy terrible day. The Fair Erin was slaving away at work tirelessly only to come home with Prince Gabriel and Princess Drioux to find Cat Hater Sorceress Gail had banished Sir/Madame Cat from the kingdom to never be heard from again (tears flowing and whimpering heard). The Fair Erin's heart was broken and then she ate the poisonous apple and the Seven Dwarfs...oh, wait...wrong story...as I was saying...The Fair Erin's heart was broken and a great sadness fell upon the once happy kingdom. To this day The Fair Erin is denied the affections of a Sir/Madame Cat. The fair Erin does not live happily ever after. The End (or so Cat Hater Sorceress Gail thinks)!
Disclaimer: Although this story is true (mostly) (poetic license used), and although Gail does hate the cutest animals possible but did feed Sir/Madame Cat sometimes, she is not a Sorceress and I still love her very much (even though she denies me the most purrrfect addition to our
**Kisses for those who got the reference to It's A Wonderful Life directed by Frank Capra in 1946**