My Fema (grandmother) who taught me to take pleasure in the little things, the important things in life and who my most cherished childhood memories are with. She will forever remain in my heart and in my thoughts.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Beware the Jabberwocky!

There are evil things about.  Things in our world that we need to take a stand as a people and fix.  There are the commonly known things like: disease, Mel Gibson, famine, failing economy, green house effect, Sarah Palin, poverty and Jihad.  Then there are the not so common things; which in my opinion are a far greater threat.  Let's look at each of these.

1.  Velour pants:  This bastardization of the pant is a real and present threat against our senses.  It attacks our sense of sight, our sense of sound (you know who you are, big thigh people walking with your swoosh swoosh) and our sense of fashion.  Coco Chanel would be apalled.

This is never a good idea.
Someone call the ASPCA...

and CPS!

2.  Baggy saggy pants:  also known as an official "F&^% YOU!" to the fashion industry.  "Are you tired of pulling your regular normal persons pants down around your ass, then walking like you are wearing a full diaper so they won't fall?  Well do we have the answer for you..."

Does this really look ok to anybody?  What the hell...I...if...but...there are no words.

3.  Shoes for dogs:  I don't think you heard me..SHOES FOR DOGS, for the protect their feet, FROM WHAT...the ground their paws were intended to walk on???  What kind of animal injustice is this and why isn't the ASPCA out bitch slapping these people.  I call for an up rise of all dogs to protect thier doggie friends that are being tortured in this most vicious way.

What did this poor pup ever do to anyone?  Not captioned; puppies thoughts; "FML"

This has got to be the animal equivalent of kiddy porn.  You know what she lost back there?  Her DIGNITY, that's what. 

4.  Pimped out transportation:  The holy grail of human stupidity.  This is why aliens don't come to earth, there all laughing at us.  They don't want their friends to see them hanging out with a species that does shit like this...
Again, no words.

Who is the market for this and why are they allowed out in public?

It's a Chevy truck...a TRUCK...made for hauling.  This monstrosity will scrape the ground empty.  I refuse to believe a person can drive this with even an ounce of dignity.

For those of you who even look at this and think "this thing is cool" natural selection should start with you. 

Don't think I forgot about you, you pathetic group of people.  I just shake my head and hope your moonshine has rendered you sterile.

5.  The furry boots/inappropriate boot wearing:  Women, if you want to be treated seriously and respected for your mind I suggest you rethink making your feet look like a clydesdale's.
She must have lost her damn mind! 

...because nothing says star like furry boots and jammy pants.

That concludes..oh wait, silly me, here I thought furry boots were a travesty made only by women

I stand corrected...and a little embarrassed.

Now by no means does this complete the list of dangers plaguing our society, but my eyes are bleeding and I haven't the strength to discuss why 80's hair is the devil.

And we wonder why the rest of the world hates us.