Another tragedy has struck my life; one akin to the unpleasantness that fell upon my dear orchid. My house plant, Fred or rather my office plant, Fred has died. I am confident with the proper amount of therapy and grieving time, I will learn to move on from this troublesome time in my life.
For those that can attend I will be holding services. The attire is fancy dress and the viewing will be held at the hall trashcan. Services will be followed by an afternoon tea (Fred would have liked that). We all have to be strong and remember the fond memories we all had with Fred.
Fred's Last Will and Testament will be read at a later to be determined time and location, due to some discrepancies with Fred's illegitiment children and an alleged mistress (can neither confirm or deny the allegations but a Fern may be involved).
If anybody would like to make a donation in the name of our dearly departed, information on Fred's favorite charities and causes will be listed by the guest book.